My wife loves the painting below. It hangs in our kids’ bathroom. Honestly, I never got much out of it, but I think to her it speaks to the innocence of children pre-prejudice. For all of us, it should be a lesson of overcoming social barriers that divide us.
Why Should I Connect with People I Don’t Like or Agree With?
Great Question!
Quick Answer: Jesus loves them.
The last words Jesus left his disciples as he was leaving, was a command to GO! Go – and make disciples. Where you live. The next town over. And even all the way to the other side of the Earth. (Acts 1:8 NKV – New Kevin Version HAHA!)
A disciple is a follower of the teachings of Jesus. He said EVERYONE is a potential disciple – even people overseas or just next door. Well, I can tell you that lots of those people are very different from you. But God commanded us to go anyway.
Another Quick Answer: Jesus breaks down every dividing wall.
Ephesians refers to the wall in the temple beyond which Gentiles were not allowed to pass – the wall that separated the Jew from the Gentile. Paul states that Jesus broke down that wall, making the two groups one people. Jesus is in the business of destroying any prejudice we have toward others.
How Do I Connect with People Who Are Different from Me?
Another Great Question!
Here are some thoughts from my discussion with Keith Matthews, a Christian healthcare worker in an AIDS clinic in Alabama.
1.) Social Barriers? Find Common Ground
Common ground is the doorway to the heart.
Whether the differences are racial, socio-economic, lifestyle related or even theological, you can always find some common ground. And when you find the common ground, you are knocking on the door of their heart.
Common ground could include a belief, a value, or even a favorite movie or television show. Keith talks about finding common ground with an atheistic boss with The Office television show! That was the door to open up deeper conversations. And it was also just fun to laugh with her.
2.) See Them Not As An Enemy, But Simply a Product of Their Past
Anytime I approach someone through the lens of how they are against me or what I believe or how I live, I immediately get on the defense.
But, when I discipline myself to see every person through the filter of the brokenness of their previous experience, I am able to have compassion and love for them. This is even true when I abhor their theological stance or lifestyle choices. View every relationship as an opportunity to love others toward Jesus and healing.
3.) Ask Jesus to Let You See Them Through His Eyes
I know, I know. It sounds cliche, but it’s true. It’s hard to dislike the people you pray for. This is especially true when you are asking God to allow you to see the hurt or deception that led people to live unhealthy lifestyles or make bad choices.
And if it’s something like a theological matter, just know that no one has the market cornered 100% when it comes to truth. Approach others with humility and patience. Jesus prayed for us when He prayed for future believers in John 17:20-21. Of all the prayers He could have prayed, He chose to pray that we would be ONE just as He and the Father were ONE!
Wow! Hard to believe. His goal for us is to be one in mind and spirit as much as He and the Father are ONE. That sounds ridiculous. But then He tells us why He longs for that – that the world may believe that the Father sent Him for us! It’s worth the extra effort to love other members of the Body of Christ.
Final Thoughts Social Barriers
Our faith is not an excuse to ignore or avoid people different from us, but a mandate to connect with them and to break social barriers. There is tremendous richness when we choose to get outside our comfort zone and engage with those who would otherwise make us uncomfortable.
